Be Kind to Yourself During the Holidays

This is your life to live, and your journey to create. Yes, I said the journey is yours to CREATE, not just ENDURE. Rather than get caught up in society’s expectations, decide what you would like for yourself and your family. This may not involve Lifetime or Hallmark special miracles, yet it can be joyous just the same.

Be Kind to Your Calendar
So many places to be and so many people to see! In all of the hustle and bustle, be sure to write down in your calendar the times you will spend doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

• Have a movie marathon with hot chocolate and a warm blanket on the couch.
• Cuddle up the same and read a good book or do a word puzzle.
• Meditate into nothingness while looking at the Christmas lights on the tree or a beautiful candle.
• Get out the colored pencils and crayons and go to town with that wonderful coloring book or crisp blank sheet of paper.

Time spent with family and close friends is a wonderful tradition this time of year. Be sure to also spend time with yourself in love, joy and comfort. It will restore and revive you for the next encounter with others. You do deserve a vacation!

Be Kind to Your Bank Account
When it comes to gifts, it really is the thought that counts. This is not a time to be “keeping up with the Jones’s”. About the only age group who may not understand cost are children. Give from the heart rather than putting yourself in debt. (And NO your children do not deserve or need absolutely everything they ask for!)

• Go to thrift stores.
• Look for gift ideas on Pinterest.
• Thoughtful bags or baskets of themed items are always a hit!
• Get started at the first of the year for next year. Start up a holiday bank account (many banks offer this). Start a change jar for all your loose change. Set aside an envelope you put a predetermined amount in each month.

Be Kind to Your Tummy
Dark days and cold weather drive us into hibernation mode. This means eating a lot. And really, how easy is it to say no to the cookies and treats that are made only once a year?

• Stay away from the food! The closer you are in proximity to the food (kitchen, dining room), the more apt you are to graze. Focus all of your energy on the people you are with. Engage in conversation and be a really good listener.
• Take small portions! When it is time to eat with everyone else, take small portions of the foods you would like to taste. Take your time and savor each bite.
• The longer you take to eat, the faster your body will be able to catch up to you and tell you when you are full. There is a big difference between not being hungry anymore and feeling so stuffed you wished you were wearing sweatpants with a bigger waste band. Stop after the first plate and go do something else for a while. This will also give your body time to metabolize what you just had. Drink lots of water. Your tummy and waste band will thank you later! (not to mention the scale)

Be Kind to Your Senses
While in the same space as a lot of other people, it can be a bit overstimulating and make you feel tired. When you start to get tired or cannot suppress the yawns anymore…

• Go for a short walk. Get yourself out of the space for just a little bit. The walk will get your blood moving and make you feel more energized.
• Go to a different room. If it is blustery cold and a walk is not a viable option, go to a different room for about 5-10 minutes. Take that time to breathe. Focus on nothing else but the breath coming in and out slowly. Feel how your body relaxes.
• Go home. There usually isn’t a set time on how long to stay with others. If you or your children have had your fill, it is ok to say your good byes and go home. Quality of time is much better than quantity of time.

Be Kind to Yourself by Being Kind to Others
Sometimes there is a person you would in all honesty not like to be around. Or maybe someone you love dearly seems to be in a really bad mood. The only one who knows what a person is going through in their mind and life is the person themselves. Even then it might be difficult to decipher.

• Breathe loving kindness into your time together. Start off your time together by giving the person a compliment.
• Don’t take things personally. Whatever is happening with that person is a reflection of them, not you.
• In your mind, come up with at least one positive thing about the person you are with or the situation you are in. Maybe you are being taught a lesson on what you would like or not like in your life.
• Make the time short if necessary. Walk away with wishes of joy and love for the person.

Be Kind to Your Memories

• This time of year can be hard on some people. There may be memories of a loved one that passed on at this time of year. There may be memories of other hardships that happened at this time of year. Be kind to your memories. Create your own traditions honoring your feelings. Traditions have their start somewhere!
• Put up a special ornament on the tree.
• Decorate a special cake or cookie.
• Listen to a special song.
• Write about your feelings. Write down the sad as well as the positive.

Honoring your feelings is much healthier than trying to keep them at bay. Your first few years may be hard. Keep doing it. These memories are from an important time in your life. Allow yourself to feel.

Be Kind to Your Heart
If you are alone and do not have close family, by all means YES take up a friend’s offer to join them. They are not asking out of pity but out of love for you! Get past the feelings of “putting people out” and join them for a little while. It will put a smile to their heart as well as yours! You have so much to offer each other! It is better to spend time together than to miss out on what could have been gained.

-originally published December 18, 2015

Be Sure to check out my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/sunshinediscoveries

And my website at www.sunshinediscoveries.com

Intolerant & Grieving

“Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.” ~ Vicki Harrison




Grief is a terrible thing to go through. I know. I have lost a lot of loved ones in my lifetime to sickness and death. In fact, we have over 7 people in our family that have crossed on to the spiritual realm in just the past year alone. Each experience is a bit different than the next. Yet, there is always the same question popping up..."Why?"

• Why is this happening?
• Why is there so much pain?
• Why? Oh God, Why?

"LITTLE DEATH"

Each time there is an ending or as some people would call it, "little death" in our life, there is a certain amount of grieving that comes with it. These little deaths can be the literal death of someone's life, the loss of a job, ending of a relationship, a debilitating sickness or injury, or even failure to thrive and succeed in any endeavor.

No one EVER prepared me for having to grieve the loss of food! It actually sounds quite insignificant when you think about all the other tragedies we experience in our lifetime. Yet, here is misery sitting at my front door, just the same.

INTOLERANT

I discovered a little over a year ago that I am gluten intolerant. That means that all the lovely cakes, cookies, pastas and breads that I have loved and even been addicted to my entire life are all off limits now.

Once you can't have something anymore, it pops up at you and taunts you from every nook and cranny it can find. Have you ever noticed how many television commercials are about food? And did you know that damn near all these commercials are celebrating and pushing for gluten-rich foods? It seems like everything is breaded in something anymore. Yep, anything that contains white flour or wheat is deathly to my system.

Try going to a grocery store and finding foods that don't contain modified food starch! Ha! Good luck on that one! Almost everything contains this poison anymore. If you see me at a grocery store getting more and more upset and disclaiming loudly enough for the next customer in the aisle to hear what a bunch of a-holes the food industry is, don't be surprised. This is just the anger stage of grief coming out in me.

• Why is this happening to me?
• Why is there so much pain?
• Why do most gluten-free modified foods taste like crap?
• Why do I have to smile and tell people it's OK for them to eat their yummy shit in front of me, while I drool in a corner and want to cry?
• Why? Oh God, Why?

HERE'S MY STORY

This "little death" snuck up on me slowly over the years. I missed so many days of work due to illness! There were days that I sat hunched over at my desk for hours trying to fight back the excruciating pain and nausea that ran deep within my gut.

Eventually I had to go on FMLA (Family Medical Leave Act) to protect my position at work so I wouldn't lose my job. This rarely makes anyone that you work with happy.

Visits to the doctor and many tests didn't prove a thing.

Oh, sure, I had been on medication for acid re-flux for many years. So, it seemed natural to change the medication and play with dosage first.

• Two separate blood tests for Celiac Disease came back negative (it runs in the family)
• Biopsy from endoscopy and colonoscopy came back negative for Celiac Disease
• Two or three ultrasounds of the gallbladder were negative for issues
• CT scan of my gut showed no intestinal problems

I tried a gluten-free diet for about two weeks. It didn't make a difference, so I happily told my siblings that I didn't have Celiac and could eat as much pasta and pizza as I wanted. (Here's the denial stage of grief). I didn't listen to my sister imploring with me over and over again that it takes about a year for your body to recuperate from the damage of gluten. I didn't listen, because I didn't want it to be true.

My body has been through a plethora of pain inducing circumstances. I have endured pregnancies and giving birth to five children (two of which are twins by cesarean). I would say that my pain tolerance is pretty high. Yet, there came a point in August, 2016 that I wanted someone to literally put me out of my misery. I had been nauseous and in pain for over two days. Trying to make myself throw up at home only made matters worse because of a hiatal hernia (the top of my stomach was literally edging up through the diaphragm into the esophagus). 

The emergency doctor gave me an IV with anti-nausea medications and morphine. Somewhere in the process they even gave me a GI cocktail to see if that would bring down the nausea a bit. It did, but only lasted about 10-15 minutes. The medications helped, but I ended up with a headache for about a week after from the morphine. This experience was so traumatic that I decided it HAD to be gluten and was not about to take another bite of something that I couldn't have. It was not worth it! (Here is the acceptance part of grief).

My second visit to the emergency room wasn't so pleasant. I had unknowingly eaten something that didn't agree with my body. This was around the time of a rampant stomach virus, so the young doctor didn't want to give me anything but anti-nausea medicine. He didn't care whether I had gotten a virus or ate something I shouldn't have. He said there was nothing he could do for me. In fact, he kept sending the nurse in to discharge me! Three anti-nausea medications and and intravenous dose of Benadryl later, they sent me home feeling drowsy but still in agony.

FRUCTOSE INTOLERANT TOO?

My GI (gastrointestinal) doctor sent me for food allergy testing this past spring of 2017. I found out on the first day of testing that I am intolerant to FRUCTOSE! You have got to be f'n kidding me! Fructose is in EVERYTHING! WTH am I supposed to eat? When I told one of my daughters the result of this testing she asked me, "Mom what are you supposed to eat? Paper?" We laughed over the phone about this, but both felt it wasn't really that funny of a situation.

Working at a convenience store in the kitchen is absolutely a joy! NOT! Ok, I love the people I work with, and I have a passion for providing people with exactly what they want. But dammit! Some days are so frickin' hard! I'm surrounded by the smells of pizzas, cheesy breadsticks, freshly baked breads, cookies, muffins and cinnamon rolls. When you smell, you taste! I see the absolutely beautiful looking donuts in the morning when I come in that were baked fresh overnight. Those rich chocolate and maple icings are calling to me! Or are they mocking me?

When I started working there, I joked with the manager and many co-workers that they wouldn't have to worry about me because there was hardly anything there in the store I could eat anyway. How disgustingly true this is. Even the damn grilled chicken, tuna salad, chicken salad, EVERYTHING is filled with modified food starch and makes me sick. My gut clenches up and I'm running for the powder room. 

The bargaining stage of grief comes in when I drink a caffeine-free soda during the day and test the boundaries of the fructose intolerance, or when I'm really hungry and nibble on a few cheesy potato bites that I know aren't gluten-free. I think if I just eat a little it will be OK. Some days this is true and some days it is not. 

The depression part of these food illnesses comes and goes without a warning. I do a pretty good job of putting on a smile and acting as if not being able to eat these "normal" foods isn't a big deal. But, eventually it wears on me and I just have a melt-down. 

I hope that one of these days the things I cannot have will no longer have such a strong hold on my emotions. Until then, I will ride the waves of this ocean of grief through the calm and the overwhelm. I never learned how to swim in water, but I do know how to swim through grief. 

It's My Pleasure to Write!

"We all have things we need to hear, and there are those who need your very specific style to finally “get it.”

My mother began reading to me the day I was born (literally). I have always been able to get lost in a book.

I always carried a book with me wherever I went, just in case I got the chance to read. At one point, I had a winter coat that had torn inside the pocket. There was enough of an opening that I could shove a paperback into my pocket past the lining, i.e., into the inside of my coat, and voila! Book ready when I needed it! 😊

I love the feel of books! I love the smell of new books in a bookstore! Awe! Heaven!

But, when I put pen to paper or get my fingers typing on the keyboard, I feel AMAZING! The doors to my mind are open and free! Opening up to the creativity within and the knowledge stored from past experiences, allows me to set forth on a journey that is my own.

How do you explain why you do something when you just know in every fiber of your being that you are supposed to? That is writing for me. I know that I have things within me that need to be shared. I trust that the people who are supposed to read those words will see them. – Being the type of person that total strangers come up to tell their life stories and receive guidance or assurance, I know that I can have a broader reach to the world through writing. It is exciting to think about someone you have never met in person reading your words and those words making a difference for them!

Have you ever told a child to do something, then your spouse does, their grandparents do, their teachers do, and they fight you all the whole way? Then all of a sudden, a neighbor tells them the exact same thing and it’s the grandest idea on the planet!  We all have things we need to hear, and there are those who need your very specific style to finally “get it.”

I also learned at an early age the power of words. Some words were shared with me that were hurtful and some uplifting. Either way, I understood that the words could not be taken back. So, whenever I was trying to talk to someone who didn’t want to hear me, I said the words anyway. I knew that even though they didn’t want to hear me, they would still receive the words. There was such power in this!

In today’s age of technology, if I have something I want to learn, I will try Google for a quick answer. But I trust the experts who write the books. No, I’m not naïve enough to believe that anyone who writes a book has the right answer for me. But I enjoy finding the ones who do resonate for me.

I want to share my words with others and help inspire them, encourage them, heal them … with the rhythm and energy of my heart that comes through in my writing!

Journaling

I like to journal to help me process things that have happened during the day, as well as my dreams. If things get really jumbled up in my brain, I like to do a “brain dump” where I let the words flow onto the paper/screen as they are coming into my head. There are no filters, and there is no checking for grammar, punctuation, or even if any of it makes sense! – Afterwards, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Blogging

What a grand idea! This is more than journaling or writing in a diary, yet not a full out book or news article. Just a little space to share your ideas, viewpoints, and such … and hopefully, someone will receive satisfaction, words of wisdom, a new perspective to think about, something to laugh about … etc. No rules here! Just you being you!

Writing Curriculum

I am a teacher at heart. I love coming up with creative ways to teach others. With as much as I love books, I also love packets to learn and work from. Putting together information in a short style like this gives me great joy.

Writing a Book

I’ve started writing books many times throughout the years. This is the year that I will be completing one for publishing. Writing and publishing a book has been on my bucket list since at least junior high. At some point, I’m sure I will write a novel. However, now is the time to write a self-help book.

Automatic Writing

Something cool that I bet you didn’t know! I can connect to angels, guides, loved ones and let them share their messages while I write or type them out. When I use automatic writing to receive messages, there is no time for my ego to step in and decide if what I heard was accurate or if the message needs to be reworded to be understood. The words are as the words came. That’s that! It is raw, pure and usually full of fantastic things the person receiving the message needed.

Oh yeah! Did I tell you that I like to talk? (to my children's horror at times) Writing is my way to talk as long as I want and you can listen to my words all at one time, or put it down and pick me up later. (Ha!) Until the next time! Mwah!

Attention! - Can You Hear Me Now?

It’s really interesting how the day’s events can change the focus of my blog, yet it is all in sync with one of my perceptions on today’s state of affairs...

Do you remember the phrase, “Can you hear me now?” from an old cell phone commercial? The words have a different meaning to me now. When I see the level of interaction between people nowadays, I want to ask, “Can you hear me now?” Sometimes I think it needs to be shouted to be heard.

No matter how many times you try to tell yourself that you can multitask and do more than one thing at a time, you are lying to yourself! The call is getting dropped at possibly inopportune moments. You are not giving your entire attention to the task or conversation at hand. Pieces are missing, and they might be the important ones!

Living the human experience is an important one. We are here to learn and serve. There are times we need to check back in with our soul to make sure we are fully aligned with our purpose and are healing anything that needs to be healed. However, stop trying to escape the human experience!

Last night I was reading one of my blog posts to my husband. I was reading pretty fast because some of the post includes lists. What are on the lists aren’t really as important as the context of the entire post. When I was about ¾ of the way done reading to him, he stuck his phone out for me to read something on HIS phone! I then realized that he had been trying to multitask and was not giving me his full attention for sharing my writing piece.

That made me feel like my efforts were not valuable enough to pay attention to. I’m still at a space where my writing is important to me and some validation from trusted sources is going to continue boosting my confidence to keep at it. Having my partner who normally listens to my reading with absolute curiosity and interest, not really paying attention, hurt my feelings a bit.

Recently we went to see a local band play. It was early in their night and there weren’t many people in attendance yet. I enjoyed listening to the music and watching each member with their skills of drumming, playing guitar, playing bass, singing, and their facial expressions and body movements. (I’m a people watcher.) Some of the people in attendance were sitting on their phones looking at Facebook! How could they fully enjoy the experience while sitting on their phones? Honestly, my sarcastic voice inside my head thought that they might as well put in headphones at home and continue on with their social media, for the amount of attention they were giving the performers.

Today my husband and I went to the grocery store to return bottles. Upon entering the return area, I said, “hi” to the employee and he just gave me a blank stare. Since we don’t have to do this task very often, it took me a little while to assess the situation of where the correct machines were that we needed to use. One of them was open and out of service for the moment. The other ones were on the opposite side of the store employee. So, we walked out the front doors and came back in the side. Upon entering the side door, one of the other customers informed us that the plastics machines were full and the store employee was working on getting that fixed. – Ok! Why couldn’t the employee have told us that in the first place? Instead, he continued slowly emptying one of the machines for cans and going at a massively pokey pace. So, my husband and I decided to go to a different store in town. As we were walking towards the car, I looked back towards the store and saw the employee tying a garbage bag slower than anyone I’ve ever seen in my entire life! Ugh! What is wrong with customer service?

Upon arriving at the alternate location, my husband commented snarkily that we were probably going to be dealing with the same type of situation. I told him that at least this employee would talk to people because I had recognized him from other trips to that store in the past. He did respond to my question of how his day was when we entered, but when my husband told him to have a great day when we left … crickets.

What has happened to our society that we cannot or will not give our attention to one another? I absolutely adore my relationships with those whom I have never met in person, yet have built a strong support system with through social media. However, when it comes time to give my attention, I’m hoping that I am giving my all. – I know there are times that I am not, but at least I recognize it and ask for a replay of what I’ve missed and apologize for not being fully present.  I try not to fall into the trap of being consumed with more than what is right in front of me all the time.

So, to those people who feel I have not given you my attention and not heard what you had to say, I’m deeply sorry.

To those people who are oblivious to the current state of affairs because their noses are buried in their phones or they are just stuck in their own heads … Please wake up! There are so many people that can benefit from your ability to hear them now!

*Voice Pen Purpose Blog Challenge: Day 6

Interesting Observation - Too Many or Too Little Choices?

I remember a time in the 80’s that my cousins came back for a visit from Germany. They had a heyday in the grocery store looking at all the different choices of cereals and pop tarts. It was normal to me, but there weren’t that many choices where they were currently living.

Fast forward to 2017. What the what!?! Seriously! How many different kinds of everything do we need?

You want to have a say over what happens to your body? Well, some people might support you. But, hey! You can go down to the grocer and pick up any kind of muffin you want! Blueberry, chocolate, chocolate chip, lemon poppy seed, raspberry, pumpkin, banana, with frosting, without frosting, sprinkles or fruit … the list goes on and on!

You want to have a choice in what kind of job you work in? Ummmm… how much education do you have? How much money did you spend on that education? Are you willing to relocate? Are you willing to work overtime? You sure you are ok with constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure someone else isn’t trying to work you out of a job? – The economic market might be tough, but that’s ok! You can go to the store and pick one of a gazillion types of cigarettes! Short packs, long packs, regular strength, extra strength, lights, ultra-lights, menthol, boxes that come with camel dung, red label, black label, silver label, gold label, dark yellow box, light yellow box, orange box, teal box, light blue box, … (sigh!)

Are you wishing you were given the opportunity to speak your truth more? Or are you afraid of repercussions? – Go to the store and get yourself any kind of toothpaste you want; bubblegum, mint, cinnamon, with or without fluoride, sensitive or not, with or without whitening …

What does the grocery store have to do with your life choices? The better question is, are we spending our time and resources focusing on creating choices in the right areas of life?

How many pounds of sugar come in that 12oz box aren’t going to help a person with their overall well-being and quality of life.

Does that observation leave a bad taste in your mouth?

*Voice Pen Purpose Blog Challenge: Day 5

The Conflicted Soul: A Fire-Breathing Dragon

My internal dragon is a cute little thing! On an average day, we skip along humming a fun little ditty that comes from within. We make pleasantries to as many people as we can, and try to make strangers feel seen, heard, and loved.

Awe! The butterflies dance, the birds sing, the earth is beautiful with its wondrous coloring! The sun is shining, and everything is well! Pure bliss! 

Then out of the blue, some little troll of a situation arises to f* everything up! Son of a biotch!

STAGES OF TURNING INTO A FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON

1. Pain in my energetic heart space.

      *Feelings of anger, sadness, disappointment

      *Feelings and thoughts: loss of self-worth (Did I have any to begin with?)

2. Find someone to talk to about the situation. (Honestly, I’m really looking for a perception that aligns with mine. I want someone on MY side!)

3. Open the box of crappy emotions that have not been dealt with yet from past conflicting experiences. (Open that puppy up and allow old hurts to surface!)

4. Open the book that has recorded every minuscule thing the current offending person has done to upset me over time. (Ah, yes! More old hurts coming to the party!)

5. Turn to another chapter in the book and think about everything ANY person has ever done to me. (Take all that ammunition and shake the hell out of that bottle!)

6. Add fuel to the fire by thinking about everything that has gone wrong that day … that week … that month … that year … or even my entire life. (Volcanic lava build-up!)

7. When really upset, listening to songs ABOUT being hurt and angry. (Dump that on like extra kerosene, baby!)

My pattern with conflict tends to have advancing stages. Whether I make it through all the stages will really depend on what type of conflict it is, and who it is with. Adding fuel to the fire that is already burning makes for quite the volcanic eruption when the pressure has built up enough to finally burst. That’s when people close to me get hit with fiery sparks over the stupidest of things!

Growing up in a family where there was a lot of discomfort, dysfunction, pain and yelling … there weren’t many things we COULD do to cope. We could fight with our siblings, but that didn’t last long. So, the safest thing to do was to retreat to your own headspace.

That headspace is a curious place! The highways of thought were paved years ago. Traveling down familiar roads on autopilot doesn't take any extra effort. Perhaps that is why it is so darn hard to take a detour. 

But eventually, the release comes. The watery tears dampen down the flames. This emotional release is often welcomed. -- When I am unable to cry, that is when I know my energy is stuck. It is extremely uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Yet, I know that things will be better on the other side of the stream. 

Do I hope to change the pattern in the future? Yes, most definitely! Mama Bear and the dragon are working on it. Until then, we will continue to hum our ditty and do the best we can.

*Voice Pen Purpose Blog Challenge: Day 4

A Lesson In Patience - A True Psychic's Journey

Waiting … Patience … These are not natural virtues for me AT ALL! I am an impatient, perfectionist that thinks instant gratification should be a highly reasonable request. Ha! (You’re probably laughing and thinking, “So, how is that working out for you honey?”)

Over the summer and fall of 2015, I started journeying on a new path. Earlier in the spring I had gotten my certification as a professional life coach. That meant the world to me! But trying to figure out how to get clients was so gosh darn tough! I wasn’t sure anyone in the Midwest even knew what a life coach was, let alone trying to convince people to pay me to help them! But, in July I met these really cool people at a local healing center. The more time I spent there, the more I got to know the people who were healers there. There were ladies who could do PSYCHIC work! Really, truly live people who could see the future (is what I thought). I asked lots of questions.

How could someone learn to do this?

Was it something you had to be born with, or could a person learn how?

Were there classes?

Show me!

Teach me!

I want to know how to do this! This seems like the ultimate in awesomeness!

One of the ladies, who is now a spectacularly dear friend of mine was a bit taken aback by all my questions. It was hard for her to tell me what she did. She just did it!

Another psychic who is now a fantastic friend of mine told me that intuition is a muscle that has to be built up.

Ummm…ok! (insert disbelief and sarcasm) Where do you find the goddamn thing in the first place?

So, my instant gratification part was not going to be able to turn on a switch and have it work. Damn!

I guess I put out to the universe a signal to show me that all of this was real, and that it was my purpose to go down the path of enlightenment. Details of the “Blam! In your face!” things that happened will be shared on a different day. But, they happened. I was about to entire the Twilight Zone! (just kidding! or am I?)

I waited patiently (or as patiently as is possible for me) to take a class in the fall. This class was NOT about how to be a psychic. Instead, it was a technique called Thetahealing® that teaches you how to change stubborn beliefs that no longer serve you. But, when I learned the technique, my third eye blew wide open!

Fast forward a couple years … and I am now doing intuitive/psychic readings for people, I can communicate with those who have passed over (mediumship), and do other energetic healing modalities … all while coaching in the process.

And, here’s the kicker! I’M TEACHING OTHER PEOPLE HOW TO BE INTUITIVE NOW! I started an intuition academy this spring and am loving every single bit of it!

Even though I’ve been on a fast-moving train these two years, the universe still kicks me on my ass when it is time to slow down and be patient about the next thing to come. (see my blog about Healing Crisis https://stephanieverry.blogspot.com/2017/05/healing-crisis.html)

So, there you have it! Patience may not come naturally to me, but the benefits of waiting to see what is to come are far beyond what I could have dreamt in the first place! Eek! Coolness!

P.S. Not all psychics tell the future. But, they can tell you exactly what you need to know right now! (Patience, my dear!)

My Favorite Part of the Day

It is an absolute delight to think about the favorite part of my day! (Welcome to MY Day 2 of the blogging challenge.)

I am beyond blessed to have many sacred spaces to retreat to for serenity throughout the day. My healing room at home provides a high vibration of light and love, as well as encouragement and motivation to follow my soul’s path. The front porch gives a spectacular view of nature to help me feel connected to the universe and my dreams, while offering the opportunity to be grounded. However, the time and place that really puts a smile on my face is the bedroom at night with my husband.

DOWNLOAD TIME

Our download time at the end of the day is beyond special. I’m truly “home” in the bedroom with my husband. We share every joy, gratitude, annoyance, fear, and tear with no judgement, no previous conceived expectations - just understanding and support.

We love our love story. We dated when we were young, lived through amazing and trying times, and got back together again just 7 years ago. This best friend that I have been married to for two years now is my solid rock, my supporter, my confidant, my lover, my heart. He taught me in the beginning that it was safe to share all my thoughts and feelings. – I spent almost 40 years of my life living on eggshells, trying not to upset the elephant in the room. – Now I’m free! I’m free to say exactly what is going on in my head. I’m safe to be “bat-shit crazy and loving it!” (This is what I call my intuitive gifts.) And my husband loves every part of me, and I of him!

Alone in our room, the rest of the world slowly melts away. Our download time consists of the happenings from our day, any news we want to share about our loved ones, and an unadulterated exemption from political correctness and social standards. OUR TIME! Time to make up silly words to popular songs, time to dance goofy, bonk each other on the head with small pillows, pretend to pick fights with one another, and savor every moment of US!

You might think that what we have right now is just the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. In actuality, we started fighting the good fight on day one. It was not an easy transition for anyone, and we have persevered through fire and brimstone with an intense desire to make everything work for our highest and best.  

ECSTASY

After the separation from my first husband, I began seeing a therapist to finally learn to care for myself. With her guidance, I learned the basics about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The first tier consists of items needed for survival: food, water, shelter, clothing, adequate sleep, and touch. Who knew how important touch really could be!

Have you ever reached a time where the energy around you is so icky that you don’t even want to be touched – yet, at the same time you crave it with every fiber of your being? I learned to survive the trials of life by running away. I got very good at shutting people out. My normal stance is one with my arms crossed in front of me. I don’t remember when I started wearing tank tops under my shirts during any season of the year, just to have an extra layer to feel protected. I also began carrying every single thing in my purse that I or anyone else could possibly need, just in case…

TOUCHING HEART, MIND, BODY, AND SOUL

With my current husband, I ended up with a man who is a manly man to everyone else in the world, but also has the kindest, most sincere and sentimental heart I have known. He knows when to put his hand on my lower back while we are in public to help me feel safe. He knows when and where to place his hand on my body to help me energetically release toxins. And he knows how to place a hand gently on me while we lay in bed, just so I know that the love is there.

How can a person love bedtime so much? I can! And I do! I’ve met my match and together we are complete. 

Outside and In: With a Splash of Grumpy Sauce

I was excited to sign up for the Voice Pen Purpose 7-Day Blog Challenge. I had absolutely no idea what I would be writing about prior to the start of the series, but writing is a passion of mine. Putting my words out there for everyone to see … sure! Why not? (stamping down the anxiety under my foot)

Day One is supposed to consist of an introduction about myself and a story. This is definitely an interesting day to start a blog challenge, let alone introduce myself, because it has been a day filled with tons of grumpy sauce. More on that part later…

Let me start by giving you an idea of who I am on the outside. I am 43-years-old, a daughter, older sister to three siblings, mother of 5, step-mother of 1, grandmother of 2, ex-wife, new wife, newly hired employee at a local convenience store, in-progress author, and an entrepreneur of my own coaching and holistic healing business. Phew! -- Are we a sum of all our parts? These are just some of my elements. 😉

Going a little deeper, I am an empath, intuitive, medium, and energy worker. I am certified in Holy Fire Reiki, Angelic Chakra Integration, ThetaHealing, and Professional Life Coaching. I love to write, teach and share my gifts with others to help them in their own natural healing process.

Now, a person who is a healer typically spends a lot of time working on themselves in their own growth process. Thus, the grumpy sauce day today. You see, I have just started a journey of working on my shadow-self. And, boy has a lot of icky crap been coming up!

Shadow work is a journey of delving deep within to get to the unconscious part of yourself that most of us are afraid to even look at. It is about allowing the ick to come up so you can examine it, and become friends with it so it can be a part of your natural duality, instead of something you fight against. Anytime we stumble across a trigger that upsets us, it usually is a mirror to something we don’t feel comfortable with in ourselves. So, why have I felt like “everyone” is pissing me off lately? You got it! There are things coming to the surface to be examined.

Two minutes after taking my chef’s coat off this morning, I spilled BBQ sauce all down the front of my shirt, onto my shoes and the floor.

About half an hour after that, I was coming around a corner with two flats of croissants, stumbled over cleaning products someone had left in the hallway, allowing the flats to go flying and sliding down the hall.

Then the biggie this afternoon…

Insert co-worker who is young enough to be my daughter, telling me what to do.

“You are supposed to be working over there! M had to go take care of YOUR guy when she should be over here getting out the order SHE is supposed to be working on!”

Meanwhile, said co-worker is standing there chopping veggies, a chore that must have been imperative at that time, because why else wouldn’t she be able to step up and help?

“First of all, M knew that I was coming out of the cooler. I didn’t know that a customer had come up to the counter, and I don’t take orders from you!”

Yowza! I snapped at her! Not sure how loud venom comes in a hushed tone, but that’s what spittled out of my mouth.

I pulled her aside later to apologize and let her know that I don’t take kindly to getting snapped at myself. I prefer to be talked to.

She responded with, “We all need to work as a team.” (I’m thinking “no shit!”) “The appropriate thing would have been for you to go take care of YOUR customer and let M do what she needed to do, instead of telling me that you don’t take orders from me! I’m not nice, I’m not un-nice, I just tell it like it is.”

O.M.G.! She’s telling me what is appropriate for me? Who the hell does she think she is?

Reflecting on this biggie later at home with my trusty journal, I looked for what triggered me from this confrontation. I DON’T LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO! Yet, I know that I have done that multiple times to my children, and who knows who else! Ugh!

I DON’T LIKE BEING TALKED TO IN A TONE THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL. Oh no! How many times have I done this to family or friends?

And the biggest lesson, HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS PARTICULAR CO-WORKER TICKED ME OFF AND I WAITED TO SAY SOMETHING UNTIL I SNAPPED? Yep, that has been a common occurrence for me in my history. I try to be nice and just swallow down the things that make me unhappy. Then that bottle boils up and overflows in the most inconvenient of ways.

So, after seeing this scenario, I hope you can take my word for it that I am truly a very thoughtful person who is there for people whenever they need me. I’m usually dripping with sugar and honey. Today just happened to be one that was meant to be full of lessons and character building experiences!

I'm taking a different sauce bottle to work with me tomorrow!

Healing Crisis

Today is a bright and beautiful sunny day. However, it appears that tears are what is in store for my emotional weather.

HEALING CRISIS

I've been on a yuck journey for going on almost two weeks now. One of my peers told me that I had put myself in a "healing crisis." A healing crisis is when you've had too much work done in a very short period of time. After each healing session, you should take time to let everything finish releasing, as well as time to integrate new energies.

A week and a half ago, my colleagues and I were at a psychic and metaphysical expo, I spent some time with a Shaman for healing and also had some readings. They were all fantastic and gave me everything I needed! However, when I came back home, I was sick. For two days I had a fever that did not register on the thermometer. All I could do was sleep. Then it appeared that my allergies were acting up, again no real physical signs just lots and lots of physical irritation and lethargy. I've been able to go out for just short periods of time to special events, but they tire me out very quickly.

AN EMPATHIC JOURNEY

Having been opened up more to other people's energies to help my intuitive work, it seems that I feel emotions more deeply than I used to. When you are an empath, it can be difficult to figure out whether the things you are feeling are yours or someone else's. It takes a lot of time and practice to learn what belongs to who, and how to protect yourself from someone else's energy. Yes, there are ways to read what is going on with someone else, without taking it upon yourself. I'm still working on it.

Going about your life at full-speed, it takes a lot of conscious effort to slow down and do the things necessary to protect yourself and keep yourself healthy. Being a "stubborn child," like myself, it can take several times to learn the lesson before really getting it.

So, I know that some of the yuck I have picked up along the way is not just mine.

TEARS DAY

So, during this healing crisis, life has still happened. There have been sad things popping up, adding to my discomfort. For a few days I have felt the discomfort building deep within my core. Tears are my natural release, but they were stubborn in coming.

This morning I was able to focus on letting my emotions release for a short while through tears. Then not long after I was over it, an email popped up in my inbox about the importance of tears. Ugh! So, I knew I was not done.

Shortly after this, one of my children came to my room asking for something from my bathroom. I got up off my bed and retrieved the item. Once I was done, I flopped back down onto the bed. And ... I hit the back of my head on the wooden headboard!!! Ok, flood of tears now. It felt like someone was shouting at me, "Cry Damnit!"  Ok! Ok! I've got the message.

RELEASING

Today will be a day of releasing. The release feels so much better than the discomfort and pain of having energy stuck so deep within. It is a necessary and welcomed time. Getting to the other side of the yuck is so much better.

LESSONS

1. Please be sure to take time in between healing sessions, so you do not end up in a healing crisis. 
2. Welcome the tears and emotional release! You will feel so much better after!

With Love & Light,
Stephanie

Escape to Reality

Welcome to my Blog!

Quick Intro

Let me first introduce myself. My name is Stephanie.  I have lived in Iowa my entire life and although the extreme heat and extreme cold suck, I am comfortable being close to my family. I have five beautiful children of my own, one step-daughter and two gorgeous grandchildren! My husband is a fantastic rock of love and support, and truly my best friend. (sound cliche? absolutely not! it took a lot to get to where we are)... I could probably keep a blog all of its own about our large family and all the shenanigans that go along with it. That, however, is not the primary focus of Escape to Reality. I'm sure things will pop in here and there that will help you get to know my family, as well as me.

I am so blessed to have my own business as a Life Coach and Holistic Healer. I started working at the age of 13 (not including babysitting) and am totally over working as a direct employee of big corporate America for almost 30 years. I love the work I do helping others to heal and help themselves. My business Sunshine Discoveries was born from a dream and desire to help others get unstuck. I was stuck for a very long time and it took quite the fire under my butt to get me moving in the right direction. I want to be that fire-starter for my clients. I want to help them find their life purpose and soar with it, full of energy and Divine assistance for success.

How I Got to Escape to Reality...

Working in holistic healing or as a Lightworker, there tends to be a natural benefit to bounce things off peer practitioners and help each other out. Recently while talking to a colleague about my business, she asked me what things I like to do that bring me joy.

Reading, playing with children and writing were the words that looked up at me from the page. Together we were able to analyze these concepts and realized that each of these things listed on the paper help me to escape reality. (I did have to explain to her that playing with children IS an escape from reality for me because it is a time that brings me back to my own inner child. I am able to see things from child-like eyes and let my inner child play.)

I've been finding ways to escape reality my entire life! Growing up with alcoholism in the family, there were plenty of times that the sweet escape was imperative for survival. After a little discussion, my colleague and I came upon the realization that I am not necessarily escaping reality, but running to my reality. Oh boy! This sounds crazy, right!?! Bear with me here...

What Is Reality?

What is reality, but a perspective? Spirituality has always been a large part of my life. Even when there was a lot of outward judgement and my spiritual self was under attack, I prayed hard every step of the way. My reality has always been connected to "the other side." There is great comfort and empowerment in letting God/Source/Creator (enter your description here) take the reigns and assist in the pathways of life. The angels and spirit guides make me laugh all the time! I love their sense of humor, and how they come to me in ways that could never be passed off as coincidence.

Psychic?

You got it! My reality does include being psychic, working with energy, and exploring a tremendously incredible connection to Angels, Guides and spirits. Little did I know, even just 6 short years ago, that the things I experienced were the beginning of my spiritual gifts being awakened to a more advanced state. -- How absolutely magnificent is that!?!

During my first initial class for holistic healing, I was welcomed by a wonderfully supportive group of women. The more seasoned workers declared during class that it was ok to feel Batshit Crazy! Being validated by seasoned psychics that I was receiving accurate information during readings boosted my confidence in ways that can not even be described! I truly thought, "holy cow, here we go!"

Psychic Sisters!

Oh, how I love my baby sister! I am excited to share my journey with you and all the "crazy" stories of things I experience. But that's not all! You will get a sneak peek at the fascinating path my sister is on as well. Fully awakening at the same time is genuinely an intriguing reality.

Join Us!

From Every-day Life to Possessions, Walk-Ins, Attachments, House Clearings, Mediumship, Past Lives, Family Curses, Children who See Spirits, etc... 

With Love & Light,
Stephanie