It's My Pleasure to Write!

"We all have things we need to hear, and there are those who need your very specific style to finally “get it.”

My mother began reading to me the day I was born (literally). I have always been able to get lost in a book.

I always carried a book with me wherever I went, just in case I got the chance to read. At one point, I had a winter coat that had torn inside the pocket. There was enough of an opening that I could shove a paperback into my pocket past the lining, i.e., into the inside of my coat, and voila! Book ready when I needed it! 😊

I love the feel of books! I love the smell of new books in a bookstore! Awe! Heaven!

But, when I put pen to paper or get my fingers typing on the keyboard, I feel AMAZING! The doors to my mind are open and free! Opening up to the creativity within and the knowledge stored from past experiences, allows me to set forth on a journey that is my own.

How do you explain why you do something when you just know in every fiber of your being that you are supposed to? That is writing for me. I know that I have things within me that need to be shared. I trust that the people who are supposed to read those words will see them. – Being the type of person that total strangers come up to tell their life stories and receive guidance or assurance, I know that I can have a broader reach to the world through writing. It is exciting to think about someone you have never met in person reading your words and those words making a difference for them!

Have you ever told a child to do something, then your spouse does, their grandparents do, their teachers do, and they fight you all the whole way? Then all of a sudden, a neighbor tells them the exact same thing and it’s the grandest idea on the planet!  We all have things we need to hear, and there are those who need your very specific style to finally “get it.”

I also learned at an early age the power of words. Some words were shared with me that were hurtful and some uplifting. Either way, I understood that the words could not be taken back. So, whenever I was trying to talk to someone who didn’t want to hear me, I said the words anyway. I knew that even though they didn’t want to hear me, they would still receive the words. There was such power in this!

In today’s age of technology, if I have something I want to learn, I will try Google for a quick answer. But I trust the experts who write the books. No, I’m not naïve enough to believe that anyone who writes a book has the right answer for me. But I enjoy finding the ones who do resonate for me.

I want to share my words with others and help inspire them, encourage them, heal them … with the rhythm and energy of my heart that comes through in my writing!

Journaling

I like to journal to help me process things that have happened during the day, as well as my dreams. If things get really jumbled up in my brain, I like to do a “brain dump” where I let the words flow onto the paper/screen as they are coming into my head. There are no filters, and there is no checking for grammar, punctuation, or even if any of it makes sense! – Afterwards, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Blogging

What a grand idea! This is more than journaling or writing in a diary, yet not a full out book or news article. Just a little space to share your ideas, viewpoints, and such … and hopefully, someone will receive satisfaction, words of wisdom, a new perspective to think about, something to laugh about … etc. No rules here! Just you being you!

Writing Curriculum

I am a teacher at heart. I love coming up with creative ways to teach others. With as much as I love books, I also love packets to learn and work from. Putting together information in a short style like this gives me great joy.

Writing a Book

I’ve started writing books many times throughout the years. This is the year that I will be completing one for publishing. Writing and publishing a book has been on my bucket list since at least junior high. At some point, I’m sure I will write a novel. However, now is the time to write a self-help book.

Automatic Writing

Something cool that I bet you didn’t know! I can connect to angels, guides, loved ones and let them share their messages while I write or type them out. When I use automatic writing to receive messages, there is no time for my ego to step in and decide if what I heard was accurate or if the message needs to be reworded to be understood. The words are as the words came. That’s that! It is raw, pure and usually full of fantastic things the person receiving the message needed.

Oh yeah! Did I tell you that I like to talk? (to my children's horror at times) Writing is my way to talk as long as I want and you can listen to my words all at one time, or put it down and pick me up later. (Ha!) Until the next time! Mwah!

Attention! - Can You Hear Me Now?

It’s really interesting how the day’s events can change the focus of my blog, yet it is all in sync with one of my perceptions on today’s state of affairs...

Do you remember the phrase, “Can you hear me now?” from an old cell phone commercial? The words have a different meaning to me now. When I see the level of interaction between people nowadays, I want to ask, “Can you hear me now?” Sometimes I think it needs to be shouted to be heard.

No matter how many times you try to tell yourself that you can multitask and do more than one thing at a time, you are lying to yourself! The call is getting dropped at possibly inopportune moments. You are not giving your entire attention to the task or conversation at hand. Pieces are missing, and they might be the important ones!

Living the human experience is an important one. We are here to learn and serve. There are times we need to check back in with our soul to make sure we are fully aligned with our purpose and are healing anything that needs to be healed. However, stop trying to escape the human experience!

Last night I was reading one of my blog posts to my husband. I was reading pretty fast because some of the post includes lists. What are on the lists aren’t really as important as the context of the entire post. When I was about ¾ of the way done reading to him, he stuck his phone out for me to read something on HIS phone! I then realized that he had been trying to multitask and was not giving me his full attention for sharing my writing piece.

That made me feel like my efforts were not valuable enough to pay attention to. I’m still at a space where my writing is important to me and some validation from trusted sources is going to continue boosting my confidence to keep at it. Having my partner who normally listens to my reading with absolute curiosity and interest, not really paying attention, hurt my feelings a bit.

Recently we went to see a local band play. It was early in their night and there weren’t many people in attendance yet. I enjoyed listening to the music and watching each member with their skills of drumming, playing guitar, playing bass, singing, and their facial expressions and body movements. (I’m a people watcher.) Some of the people in attendance were sitting on their phones looking at Facebook! How could they fully enjoy the experience while sitting on their phones? Honestly, my sarcastic voice inside my head thought that they might as well put in headphones at home and continue on with their social media, for the amount of attention they were giving the performers.

Today my husband and I went to the grocery store to return bottles. Upon entering the return area, I said, “hi” to the employee and he just gave me a blank stare. Since we don’t have to do this task very often, it took me a little while to assess the situation of where the correct machines were that we needed to use. One of them was open and out of service for the moment. The other ones were on the opposite side of the store employee. So, we walked out the front doors and came back in the side. Upon entering the side door, one of the other customers informed us that the plastics machines were full and the store employee was working on getting that fixed. – Ok! Why couldn’t the employee have told us that in the first place? Instead, he continued slowly emptying one of the machines for cans and going at a massively pokey pace. So, my husband and I decided to go to a different store in town. As we were walking towards the car, I looked back towards the store and saw the employee tying a garbage bag slower than anyone I’ve ever seen in my entire life! Ugh! What is wrong with customer service?

Upon arriving at the alternate location, my husband commented snarkily that we were probably going to be dealing with the same type of situation. I told him that at least this employee would talk to people because I had recognized him from other trips to that store in the past. He did respond to my question of how his day was when we entered, but when my husband told him to have a great day when we left … crickets.

What has happened to our society that we cannot or will not give our attention to one another? I absolutely adore my relationships with those whom I have never met in person, yet have built a strong support system with through social media. However, when it comes time to give my attention, I’m hoping that I am giving my all. – I know there are times that I am not, but at least I recognize it and ask for a replay of what I’ve missed and apologize for not being fully present.  I try not to fall into the trap of being consumed with more than what is right in front of me all the time.

So, to those people who feel I have not given you my attention and not heard what you had to say, I’m deeply sorry.

To those people who are oblivious to the current state of affairs because their noses are buried in their phones or they are just stuck in their own heads … Please wake up! There are so many people that can benefit from your ability to hear them now!

*Voice Pen Purpose Blog Challenge: Day 6

Interesting Observation - Too Many or Too Little Choices?

I remember a time in the 80’s that my cousins came back for a visit from Germany. They had a heyday in the grocery store looking at all the different choices of cereals and pop tarts. It was normal to me, but there weren’t that many choices where they were currently living.

Fast forward to 2017. What the what!?! Seriously! How many different kinds of everything do we need?

You want to have a say over what happens to your body? Well, some people might support you. But, hey! You can go down to the grocer and pick up any kind of muffin you want! Blueberry, chocolate, chocolate chip, lemon poppy seed, raspberry, pumpkin, banana, with frosting, without frosting, sprinkles or fruit … the list goes on and on!

You want to have a choice in what kind of job you work in? Ummmm… how much education do you have? How much money did you spend on that education? Are you willing to relocate? Are you willing to work overtime? You sure you are ok with constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure someone else isn’t trying to work you out of a job? – The economic market might be tough, but that’s ok! You can go to the store and pick one of a gazillion types of cigarettes! Short packs, long packs, regular strength, extra strength, lights, ultra-lights, menthol, boxes that come with camel dung, red label, black label, silver label, gold label, dark yellow box, light yellow box, orange box, teal box, light blue box, … (sigh!)

Are you wishing you were given the opportunity to speak your truth more? Or are you afraid of repercussions? – Go to the store and get yourself any kind of toothpaste you want; bubblegum, mint, cinnamon, with or without fluoride, sensitive or not, with or without whitening …

What does the grocery store have to do with your life choices? The better question is, are we spending our time and resources focusing on creating choices in the right areas of life?

How many pounds of sugar come in that 12oz box aren’t going to help a person with their overall well-being and quality of life.

Does that observation leave a bad taste in your mouth?

*Voice Pen Purpose Blog Challenge: Day 5

The Conflicted Soul: A Fire-Breathing Dragon

My internal dragon is a cute little thing! On an average day, we skip along humming a fun little ditty that comes from within. We make pleasantries to as many people as we can, and try to make strangers feel seen, heard, and loved.

Awe! The butterflies dance, the birds sing, the earth is beautiful with its wondrous coloring! The sun is shining, and everything is well! Pure bliss! 

Then out of the blue, some little troll of a situation arises to f* everything up! Son of a biotch!

STAGES OF TURNING INTO A FIRE-BREATHING DRAGON

1. Pain in my energetic heart space.

      *Feelings of anger, sadness, disappointment

      *Feelings and thoughts: loss of self-worth (Did I have any to begin with?)

2. Find someone to talk to about the situation. (Honestly, I’m really looking for a perception that aligns with mine. I want someone on MY side!)

3. Open the box of crappy emotions that have not been dealt with yet from past conflicting experiences. (Open that puppy up and allow old hurts to surface!)

4. Open the book that has recorded every minuscule thing the current offending person has done to upset me over time. (Ah, yes! More old hurts coming to the party!)

5. Turn to another chapter in the book and think about everything ANY person has ever done to me. (Take all that ammunition and shake the hell out of that bottle!)

6. Add fuel to the fire by thinking about everything that has gone wrong that day … that week … that month … that year … or even my entire life. (Volcanic lava build-up!)

7. When really upset, listening to songs ABOUT being hurt and angry. (Dump that on like extra kerosene, baby!)

My pattern with conflict tends to have advancing stages. Whether I make it through all the stages will really depend on what type of conflict it is, and who it is with. Adding fuel to the fire that is already burning makes for quite the volcanic eruption when the pressure has built up enough to finally burst. That’s when people close to me get hit with fiery sparks over the stupidest of things!

Growing up in a family where there was a lot of discomfort, dysfunction, pain and yelling … there weren’t many things we COULD do to cope. We could fight with our siblings, but that didn’t last long. So, the safest thing to do was to retreat to your own headspace.

That headspace is a curious place! The highways of thought were paved years ago. Traveling down familiar roads on autopilot doesn't take any extra effort. Perhaps that is why it is so darn hard to take a detour. 

But eventually, the release comes. The watery tears dampen down the flames. This emotional release is often welcomed. -- When I am unable to cry, that is when I know my energy is stuck. It is extremely uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Yet, I know that things will be better on the other side of the stream. 

Do I hope to change the pattern in the future? Yes, most definitely! Mama Bear and the dragon are working on it. Until then, we will continue to hum our ditty and do the best we can.

*Voice Pen Purpose Blog Challenge: Day 4

A Lesson In Patience - A True Psychic's Journey

Waiting … Patience … These are not natural virtues for me AT ALL! I am an impatient, perfectionist that thinks instant gratification should be a highly reasonable request. Ha! (You’re probably laughing and thinking, “So, how is that working out for you honey?”)

Over the summer and fall of 2015, I started journeying on a new path. Earlier in the spring I had gotten my certification as a professional life coach. That meant the world to me! But trying to figure out how to get clients was so gosh darn tough! I wasn’t sure anyone in the Midwest even knew what a life coach was, let alone trying to convince people to pay me to help them! But, in July I met these really cool people at a local healing center. The more time I spent there, the more I got to know the people who were healers there. There were ladies who could do PSYCHIC work! Really, truly live people who could see the future (is what I thought). I asked lots of questions.

How could someone learn to do this?

Was it something you had to be born with, or could a person learn how?

Were there classes?

Show me!

Teach me!

I want to know how to do this! This seems like the ultimate in awesomeness!

One of the ladies, who is now a spectacularly dear friend of mine was a bit taken aback by all my questions. It was hard for her to tell me what she did. She just did it!

Another psychic who is now a fantastic friend of mine told me that intuition is a muscle that has to be built up.

Ummm…ok! (insert disbelief and sarcasm) Where do you find the goddamn thing in the first place?

So, my instant gratification part was not going to be able to turn on a switch and have it work. Damn!

I guess I put out to the universe a signal to show me that all of this was real, and that it was my purpose to go down the path of enlightenment. Details of the “Blam! In your face!” things that happened will be shared on a different day. But, they happened. I was about to entire the Twilight Zone! (just kidding! or am I?)

I waited patiently (or as patiently as is possible for me) to take a class in the fall. This class was NOT about how to be a psychic. Instead, it was a technique called Thetahealing® that teaches you how to change stubborn beliefs that no longer serve you. But, when I learned the technique, my third eye blew wide open!

Fast forward a couple years … and I am now doing intuitive/psychic readings for people, I can communicate with those who have passed over (mediumship), and do other energetic healing modalities … all while coaching in the process.

And, here’s the kicker! I’M TEACHING OTHER PEOPLE HOW TO BE INTUITIVE NOW! I started an intuition academy this spring and am loving every single bit of it!

Even though I’ve been on a fast-moving train these two years, the universe still kicks me on my ass when it is time to slow down and be patient about the next thing to come. (see my blog about Healing Crisis https://stephanieverry.blogspot.com/2017/05/healing-crisis.html)

So, there you have it! Patience may not come naturally to me, but the benefits of waiting to see what is to come are far beyond what I could have dreamt in the first place! Eek! Coolness!

P.S. Not all psychics tell the future. But, they can tell you exactly what you need to know right now! (Patience, my dear!)

My Favorite Part of the Day

It is an absolute delight to think about the favorite part of my day! (Welcome to MY Day 2 of the blogging challenge.)

I am beyond blessed to have many sacred spaces to retreat to for serenity throughout the day. My healing room at home provides a high vibration of light and love, as well as encouragement and motivation to follow my soul’s path. The front porch gives a spectacular view of nature to help me feel connected to the universe and my dreams, while offering the opportunity to be grounded. However, the time and place that really puts a smile on my face is the bedroom at night with my husband.

DOWNLOAD TIME

Our download time at the end of the day is beyond special. I’m truly “home” in the bedroom with my husband. We share every joy, gratitude, annoyance, fear, and tear with no judgement, no previous conceived expectations - just understanding and support.

We love our love story. We dated when we were young, lived through amazing and trying times, and got back together again just 7 years ago. This best friend that I have been married to for two years now is my solid rock, my supporter, my confidant, my lover, my heart. He taught me in the beginning that it was safe to share all my thoughts and feelings. – I spent almost 40 years of my life living on eggshells, trying not to upset the elephant in the room. – Now I’m free! I’m free to say exactly what is going on in my head. I’m safe to be “bat-shit crazy and loving it!” (This is what I call my intuitive gifts.) And my husband loves every part of me, and I of him!

Alone in our room, the rest of the world slowly melts away. Our download time consists of the happenings from our day, any news we want to share about our loved ones, and an unadulterated exemption from political correctness and social standards. OUR TIME! Time to make up silly words to popular songs, time to dance goofy, bonk each other on the head with small pillows, pretend to pick fights with one another, and savor every moment of US!

You might think that what we have right now is just the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. In actuality, we started fighting the good fight on day one. It was not an easy transition for anyone, and we have persevered through fire and brimstone with an intense desire to make everything work for our highest and best.  

ECSTASY

After the separation from my first husband, I began seeing a therapist to finally learn to care for myself. With her guidance, I learned the basics about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The first tier consists of items needed for survival: food, water, shelter, clothing, adequate sleep, and touch. Who knew how important touch really could be!

Have you ever reached a time where the energy around you is so icky that you don’t even want to be touched – yet, at the same time you crave it with every fiber of your being? I learned to survive the trials of life by running away. I got very good at shutting people out. My normal stance is one with my arms crossed in front of me. I don’t remember when I started wearing tank tops under my shirts during any season of the year, just to have an extra layer to feel protected. I also began carrying every single thing in my purse that I or anyone else could possibly need, just in case…

TOUCHING HEART, MIND, BODY, AND SOUL

With my current husband, I ended up with a man who is a manly man to everyone else in the world, but also has the kindest, most sincere and sentimental heart I have known. He knows when to put his hand on my lower back while we are in public to help me feel safe. He knows when and where to place his hand on my body to help me energetically release toxins. And he knows how to place a hand gently on me while we lay in bed, just so I know that the love is there.

How can a person love bedtime so much? I can! And I do! I’ve met my match and together we are complete. 

Outside and In: With a Splash of Grumpy Sauce

I was excited to sign up for the Voice Pen Purpose 7-Day Blog Challenge. I had absolutely no idea what I would be writing about prior to the start of the series, but writing is a passion of mine. Putting my words out there for everyone to see … sure! Why not? (stamping down the anxiety under my foot)

Day One is supposed to consist of an introduction about myself and a story. This is definitely an interesting day to start a blog challenge, let alone introduce myself, because it has been a day filled with tons of grumpy sauce. More on that part later…

Let me start by giving you an idea of who I am on the outside. I am 43-years-old, a daughter, older sister to three siblings, mother of 5, step-mother of 1, grandmother of 2, ex-wife, new wife, newly hired employee at a local convenience store, in-progress author, and an entrepreneur of my own coaching and holistic healing business. Phew! -- Are we a sum of all our parts? These are just some of my elements. 😉

Going a little deeper, I am an empath, intuitive, medium, and energy worker. I am certified in Holy Fire Reiki, Angelic Chakra Integration, ThetaHealing, and Professional Life Coaching. I love to write, teach and share my gifts with others to help them in their own natural healing process.

Now, a person who is a healer typically spends a lot of time working on themselves in their own growth process. Thus, the grumpy sauce day today. You see, I have just started a journey of working on my shadow-self. And, boy has a lot of icky crap been coming up!

Shadow work is a journey of delving deep within to get to the unconscious part of yourself that most of us are afraid to even look at. It is about allowing the ick to come up so you can examine it, and become friends with it so it can be a part of your natural duality, instead of something you fight against. Anytime we stumble across a trigger that upsets us, it usually is a mirror to something we don’t feel comfortable with in ourselves. So, why have I felt like “everyone” is pissing me off lately? You got it! There are things coming to the surface to be examined.

Two minutes after taking my chef’s coat off this morning, I spilled BBQ sauce all down the front of my shirt, onto my shoes and the floor.

About half an hour after that, I was coming around a corner with two flats of croissants, stumbled over cleaning products someone had left in the hallway, allowing the flats to go flying and sliding down the hall.

Then the biggie this afternoon…

Insert co-worker who is young enough to be my daughter, telling me what to do.

“You are supposed to be working over there! M had to go take care of YOUR guy when she should be over here getting out the order SHE is supposed to be working on!”

Meanwhile, said co-worker is standing there chopping veggies, a chore that must have been imperative at that time, because why else wouldn’t she be able to step up and help?

“First of all, M knew that I was coming out of the cooler. I didn’t know that a customer had come up to the counter, and I don’t take orders from you!”

Yowza! I snapped at her! Not sure how loud venom comes in a hushed tone, but that’s what spittled out of my mouth.

I pulled her aside later to apologize and let her know that I don’t take kindly to getting snapped at myself. I prefer to be talked to.

She responded with, “We all need to work as a team.” (I’m thinking “no shit!”) “The appropriate thing would have been for you to go take care of YOUR customer and let M do what she needed to do, instead of telling me that you don’t take orders from me! I’m not nice, I’m not un-nice, I just tell it like it is.”

O.M.G.! She’s telling me what is appropriate for me? Who the hell does she think she is?

Reflecting on this biggie later at home with my trusty journal, I looked for what triggered me from this confrontation. I DON’T LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO! Yet, I know that I have done that multiple times to my children, and who knows who else! Ugh!

I DON’T LIKE BEING TALKED TO IN A TONE THAT IS DISRESPECTFUL. Oh no! How many times have I done this to family or friends?

And the biggest lesson, HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS PARTICULAR CO-WORKER TICKED ME OFF AND I WAITED TO SAY SOMETHING UNTIL I SNAPPED? Yep, that has been a common occurrence for me in my history. I try to be nice and just swallow down the things that make me unhappy. Then that bottle boils up and overflows in the most inconvenient of ways.

So, after seeing this scenario, I hope you can take my word for it that I am truly a very thoughtful person who is there for people whenever they need me. I’m usually dripping with sugar and honey. Today just happened to be one that was meant to be full of lessons and character building experiences!

I'm taking a different sauce bottle to work with me tomorrow!