Be Kind to Yourself During the Holidays

This is your life to live, and your journey to create. Yes, I said the journey is yours to CREATE, not just ENDURE. Rather than get caught up in society’s expectations, decide what you would like for yourself and your family. This may not involve Lifetime or Hallmark special miracles, yet it can be joyous just the same.

Be Kind to Your Calendar
So many places to be and so many people to see! In all of the hustle and bustle, be sure to write down in your calendar the times you will spend doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

• Have a movie marathon with hot chocolate and a warm blanket on the couch.
• Cuddle up the same and read a good book or do a word puzzle.
• Meditate into nothingness while looking at the Christmas lights on the tree or a beautiful candle.
• Get out the colored pencils and crayons and go to town with that wonderful coloring book or crisp blank sheet of paper.

Time spent with family and close friends is a wonderful tradition this time of year. Be sure to also spend time with yourself in love, joy and comfort. It will restore and revive you for the next encounter with others. You do deserve a vacation!

Be Kind to Your Bank Account
When it comes to gifts, it really is the thought that counts. This is not a time to be “keeping up with the Jones’s”. About the only age group who may not understand cost are children. Give from the heart rather than putting yourself in debt. (And NO your children do not deserve or need absolutely everything they ask for!)

• Go to thrift stores.
• Look for gift ideas on Pinterest.
• Thoughtful bags or baskets of themed items are always a hit!
• Get started at the first of the year for next year. Start up a holiday bank account (many banks offer this). Start a change jar for all your loose change. Set aside an envelope you put a predetermined amount in each month.

Be Kind to Your Tummy
Dark days and cold weather drive us into hibernation mode. This means eating a lot. And really, how easy is it to say no to the cookies and treats that are made only once a year?

• Stay away from the food! The closer you are in proximity to the food (kitchen, dining room), the more apt you are to graze. Focus all of your energy on the people you are with. Engage in conversation and be a really good listener.
• Take small portions! When it is time to eat with everyone else, take small portions of the foods you would like to taste. Take your time and savor each bite.
• The longer you take to eat, the faster your body will be able to catch up to you and tell you when you are full. There is a big difference between not being hungry anymore and feeling so stuffed you wished you were wearing sweatpants with a bigger waste band. Stop after the first plate and go do something else for a while. This will also give your body time to metabolize what you just had. Drink lots of water. Your tummy and waste band will thank you later! (not to mention the scale)

Be Kind to Your Senses
While in the same space as a lot of other people, it can be a bit overstimulating and make you feel tired. When you start to get tired or cannot suppress the yawns anymore…

• Go for a short walk. Get yourself out of the space for just a little bit. The walk will get your blood moving and make you feel more energized.
• Go to a different room. If it is blustery cold and a walk is not a viable option, go to a different room for about 5-10 minutes. Take that time to breathe. Focus on nothing else but the breath coming in and out slowly. Feel how your body relaxes.
• Go home. There usually isn’t a set time on how long to stay with others. If you or your children have had your fill, it is ok to say your good byes and go home. Quality of time is much better than quantity of time.

Be Kind to Yourself by Being Kind to Others
Sometimes there is a person you would in all honesty not like to be around. Or maybe someone you love dearly seems to be in a really bad mood. The only one who knows what a person is going through in their mind and life is the person themselves. Even then it might be difficult to decipher.

• Breathe loving kindness into your time together. Start off your time together by giving the person a compliment.
• Don’t take things personally. Whatever is happening with that person is a reflection of them, not you.
• In your mind, come up with at least one positive thing about the person you are with or the situation you are in. Maybe you are being taught a lesson on what you would like or not like in your life.
• Make the time short if necessary. Walk away with wishes of joy and love for the person.

Be Kind to Your Memories

• This time of year can be hard on some people. There may be memories of a loved one that passed on at this time of year. There may be memories of other hardships that happened at this time of year. Be kind to your memories. Create your own traditions honoring your feelings. Traditions have their start somewhere!
• Put up a special ornament on the tree.
• Decorate a special cake or cookie.
• Listen to a special song.
• Write about your feelings. Write down the sad as well as the positive.

Honoring your feelings is much healthier than trying to keep them at bay. Your first few years may be hard. Keep doing it. These memories are from an important time in your life. Allow yourself to feel.

Be Kind to Your Heart
If you are alone and do not have close family, by all means YES take up a friend’s offer to join them. They are not asking out of pity but out of love for you! Get past the feelings of “putting people out” and join them for a little while. It will put a smile to their heart as well as yours! You have so much to offer each other! It is better to spend time together than to miss out on what could have been gained.

-originally published December 18, 2015

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